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She hijacked a busload of penguins

This has now happened to me too many times to be a coincidence: People send me personalized mailing labels. For no reason. They're correct labels -- they have my name spelled correctly with my correct home address, and a variety of decorative designs ranging from American flags to annoying smiley faces. On the infrequent occassion when I actually send a snail mail, these labels are quite handy -- they save me the trouble of writing my own address block in the return address area of the envelope. So I'm thankful. But I'm still mystified. I never asked for these labels, and as far as I know, I've never been charged for them. They just show up (in the mail, of course -- which just seems funny to me: send materials for mailing things through the mail). This has now happened several times, and I have a veritable plethora of valid mailing labels sitting in my drawer. Don't get me wrong -- I do appreciate having a free stock of mailing labels. But where does it stop? Will I soon have a house full of mailing labels? Even though I do sometimes send snail mail, it really isn't all that often. Will I soon have a filing cabenit full of labels? And soon after that, I can imagine horrific images of my entire office brimming over with mailing labels (just picture a few labels leaking out of the windows onto my lawn, like a leaky faucet). Will this mass of mailing labels someday become so large and dense that it causes the implodation of the earth and transform it into a black hole? What fiendish, morally bankrupt person would be responsible for such an outlandish scheme? I have taken it upon myself to ensure that this doesn't happen. The goal here is to distribute the mass so as not to have them all concentrated in one place (thereby avoiding the impending implodation). I think I might have to start affixing 2 or 3 labels per envelope just to get rid of the things before the next batch of labels [inevitably] arrives (in the mail, of course). Perhaps I should start sticking them on other items to help deplete my stock: milk cartons, blades of grass, small dogs. Does this happen to anyone else?


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Comments (1)


This doesn’t happen to me, but Meg gets a lot of them. They generally come from non-profits that she gave money to at some point in the past or that are similar to non-profits she has given money to in the past. I think the idea in her case at least is that she’ll feel a need to give them more money in exchange for their labels. And it didn’t take long after we moved to Maryland for the mailing labels to find her again. I get none.

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