- Babies come with hats
- Volume of screaming has nothing to do with anything
- Sleep is optional
- When babies do sleep, they can sleep anywhere, anytime, while doing anything
- Poop can be launched horizontally for quite a distance
- The weight of a filled Huggies can be twice that of the baby itself
- A valid exit point for vomit is the nose
- Babies sleep out loud (lots of movement, grunts, squeaks, and stretching)
- Crying is a 3 step proess: 1) scrinch up your face, 2) hyperventilate 6-7 times, 3) wail like Mick Jagger — wail long, wail loud, and wail often. Whatever happens, don’t let anyone tell you to stop, because everyone should hear you sing.
- Exorcist-style vomit is neither unnatural nor uncommon
Comments (4)
Wait ‘til technicolor poop launches horizontally ;)
Posted by Katie Siek | September 13, 2004 10:49 PM
Posted on September 13, 2004 22:49
This post is useless without pics.
Oh, and the filled diaper:child weight ratio holds true to at least age 2.5.
JLS
Posted by James Scott | September 14, 2004 3:38 PM
Posted on September 14, 2004 15:38
You will also learn that vomit is at body temperature so you don’t notice it when it runs down your back.
Posted by Andrew Lumsdaine | September 14, 2004 7:08 PM
Posted on September 14, 2004 19:08
ND 28 - scUM 20
What are you yakkin about?
Posted by atepesm | September 16, 2004 12:57 AM
Posted on September 16, 2004 00:57